


Vinyl

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Series: Spin Right Round [1]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“My music is in the form vinyl records, you know, non-digital.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Normally he wouldn’t have his music on in the workspace, but Gilfoyle and Dinesh haven’t shut up about ‘who’s code dick is bigger’ or something else only serving to raise his anxiety and earn him a few sympathetic looks from Jared across the table, so he really had no choice. He was not looking forward to throwing up today; he’d finally made it almost a month with barely a gag after throwing up near constantly in Pied Piper’s first few months. Poor CEO etiquette aside, the electronic beats helped to settle his roiling stomach enough to get some work done and spare him the embarrassment.

Though maybe not his best idea, because he didn’t know Jared was sidling up to tap him on the shoulder until he felt the tap and fell off his chair with a shout. So much for spared embarrassment.

“Oh! Richard,” Jared quickly moves to help him get up, ignoring the sniggering across the table, muttering apologies, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t hear me. I have quiet feet.”

Gilfoyle barks out a laugh. “Watch out for Slenderman, Richard.”

“The urban legend,” Jared nods and smiles, “Richard, are you alright?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” Richard pulls off his headphones. “Did you… did you need something Jared?”

“Yes, just a question. Would it be alright if I listened to music?”

“Um, yeah… Jared. You don’t have to… to ask, it’s fine.”

“Yeah how else are you going to ignore all these assholes,” Gilfoyle tosses some popcorn at Dinesh’s head, “and get any work done.”

“Well, I don’t have headphones? It’s kind of an impossibility-”

Gilfoyle’s eyebrows go up. “What the hell kind of music are you listening to?”

“My music is in the form of vinyl records, you know, non-digital.”

“You’re non-digital!” Elrich tosses his sphere bong aside, incredulous. “Do you know what the hell kind of company you work for? Traitor!”

“It’s, I understand this is a digital centric corporation, but the quality of albums on vinyl… not that your software isn’t high quality, but the sound is different. I don’t have to, I’m sorry,” he ducks his head before looking Richard in the eye and holds his hands up, placating, “I don’t have to listen to anything, I like the quiet.”

Richard stands. “No, that’s okay. We don’t have a player though so… sorry about that.”

“That’s okay, I have a travel player. It’s not as good as my refurbished model at home but it’ll do in a pinch. And it’s easier to move place to place.”

Gilfoyle shakes his head. “He is not listening to any of that shit in this room.”

“I could go in the basement, or of you have a spacious closet.”

RIchard sighs. “You can always… uh… just use my room. For the quiet. And then it won’t bother anyone out here.”

Jared nods. “That sounds like a good work compromise. Thank you.”

~

He thought he went unnoticed entering the room until Jared smiled at him before returning to his task. Richard watches him carefully pull out a record from an upright case and gingerly slide the record out and place it on the player.

“You uh… really like vinyl huh?”

“Traditionally they’re known as gramophone records, phonograph records in America, and their quality is astounding.” He immediately becomes panicked. “Richard I don’t want to offend you-”

“You’re not offending me Jared.”

“Thank goodness. I know I was a bit pushy about their sound quality. Really they’re not even competing with each other, because you’re dealing with the quality presented to you, not generating the original sound.”

“No, yeah it’s cool, Jared. Really.”

Jared nods, maybe more to himself than Richard, and starts the player, gently placing the needle at the outer edge of a Sinead O’Connor album.

“It does sound nice.”

She’s not really his speed. He knows she’s well liked but she’s singing and he can understand the words and no beat is making his chest feel full of vibrations, the good ones he associates with concert speakers when you’re the perfect distance away. (A distance he and Gilfoyle worked out one day, long before Pied Piper and Gavin and anxiety.) Still, he can see the appeal, enough to acknowledge the talent behind the words. And Jared’s face is so calm and peaceful he doesn’t have the heart to express his opinion.

“So uh… I’ll go back to work. Out there. Listen as long as you want.”  
Richard is nearly out the door before Jared calls out. “Richard?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you, again. This is… it will be helpful to my work ethic.”

Richard nods, bumps into the door, and returns to his computer.


	2. Chapter 2

He started sitting in his room with Jared after two weeks of having to run back and forth from his computer to Jared while they work on business logistics. It’s still not the music he’d prefer listening to, but Richard does like the calm atmosphere. A little Sinead, some Stevie Nicks, he wonders what liking all these female singers says about Jared but all his music is fairly reminiscent of the old dial up sounds mixed with some angry bass, so Richard is willing to let Jared go about his preferences in order to stay in the dark about his own.

Richard leans over the edge of his bed (now with railing because his lovely sleep sweats may have gotten better but he tossed and turned so aggressively he fell out of bed twice last week) and coughs a couple times until Jared looks up.

“Richard are you alright? Do you need some tea? It can help a sore throat."

“How’d you get into vinyl?” 

He didn’t mean to be so blunt but the question is out there and Jared is looking very thoughtful and not like he thinks Richard could puke on the top of his head.

“Well, I started listening to music with one of my foster families. They were an older couple, and he only listened to vinyl records. When I… left that family, he gave me a few of the records I enjoyed the most.”

Richard was not prepared for a heart to heart about childhoods but Jared doesn’t elaborate.

“Sometime around high school I discovered you can find vinyl records at garage sales and I started adding to my collection. To be honest I never have the heart to leave any of them behind. Most garage records aren’t in the best condition, but I have a friend that restores old albums and most of them are salvageable.”

“So… they’re what you grew up with.”

“Yes, and…” Jared picks up the beat up cover to the album currently on the player. “I can’t help but feel like vinyl goes under-appreciated. Yes, you have to be at home to listen to it, but it has a good quality sound. It seems like such a waste of good talent.”

Richard’s getting the feeling that Jared often feels like the records in his collection. Of course a guy like Jared would relate to an object rather than a person. Jared is a hard working individual with a lot of knowledge, and yet Richard remembers telling him not that long ago that ‘sometimes we forget you’re even here’.

“Well, I didn’t see it before but… but I think you’ve swayed me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and… I don’t really use that corner over there,” Richard points to the empty corner by his dresser. “If you wanted you could set up a space for your records, maybe… maybe bring your good player in and we can use that instead.”

“Oh, Richard that’s… thank you.” Jared’s smiling so wide, it’s the sweetest thing ever. “I will, thank you so much this really means a lot to me.”

“No problem Jared. And hey, maybe I’ll get a record or two.” He does this dorky shake but Jared's hyped up and excited and if he noticed that Richard is a giant dweeb then he must not care.


	3. Chapter 3

He had no idea Jared owns as many records as he does.

Jared’s record player is actually a large cabinet they wedged between the wall and the dresser. His records don’t all fit in the cabinet, or the bottom of Richard’s closet, and now his room looks like a hoarder’s nest.

But Jared cherishes every single record. He keeps them all upright in plastic containers with airtight lids. He’s very careful with them, and if he had his way Richard is pretty sure Jared would only handle the records while wearing gloves.

“Richard? Could you look at something for a minute?”

“Sure,” Richard climbs down and leans over Jared’s shoulder. “Is this the new presentation?”

“Hm? Oh, not this.” Jared reaches underneath the desk and pulls out a plastic bag. “You’ve been very accommodating for me. You’re letting me keep my records here and you listen to them with me. I’m very grateful, and I wanted to show you my gratitude.”

“Oh, Jared you didn’t have to… get me anything.” Richard shakes out his arms. “It’s not a problem.”

“I understand, but I wanted to thank you, and you did mention you wanted to get some of your own? I hope you don’t mind, I asked Dinesh about your music preferences and found this at one of the local record shops.”

Richard is prepared to say thank you even if he doesn’t like whatever record Jared has bought him.

He isn’t prepared to freak out over a Camo & Krooked album.

“This… Ho- wh- Jared it’s Camo and… this is amazing.”

“You like it?”

“Yeah, yeah I like it. It’s… this is great. And the… wow. I didn’t even know they had vinyl.”

“It’s the only one I found.” Richard is smiling like an idiot but so is Jared. “I’m glad you like it. Dinesh was very helpful.”

“Yeah, yeah I really like it. Do you care if we listen?”

“Not at all. And if you like, you’re welcome to accompany me to find more records. Maybe,” suddenly Jared is shy and Richard can’t tell but it looks like he’s blushing, “maybe we could get dinner afterwards?”

_Is this a date? _Richard thinks, but he nods. It actually sounds pretty nice. “Okay, yeah.”__

__“Great!” Jared leans in and kisses Richard and his body does this weird spasm in surprise. “I’m sorry, was I unclear? My intentions were romantic in nature, but if you’re not interested-”_ _

__“No!” Richard blushes and hides his face for a moment. “I mean… I’m interested I just… you surprised me.”_ _

__“So you are interested?” Richard nods. “So if I kissed you again you wouldn’t be opposed?”_ _

__“Well I might barf in your mouth but- ha… please pretend I didn’t just say that.”_ _

__Jared hesitates. “If I do does that mean it’s safe to kiss you? I don’t think that sounded all that… desirable.”_ _

__Richard laughs. “I’m pretty sure it’s safe. Might want to test it out.”_ _

__Richard knows he’s a dork. So does Jared._ _

__He kisses him again anyway._ _


	4. Chapter 4

He’s on a date with Jared and it’s going fine.

He’s on a date with Jared and it’s going fine.

He’s on a date with Jared and it’s going fine.

He’s on a date with Jared and-

“Richard? Do you think you’re ready to get out of the car now? No rush.”

-his head is between his knees and he already threw up twice and they haven’t even actually started their date.

So, not really a great start to their relationship.

Jared invited him vinyl hunting, which turns out is where they go to every record seller in Silicon Valley and dig through the used bins. Richard really did like the record Jared got him; it’s loud and has a good beat and when he played the digital files on his computer he had to admit it just didn’t have the same feeling.

But now he can’t even get out of the car to start looking for old records of Sinaed or whatever else Jared is looking to add to his collection. Or the rare electronic record to add to his one. He remembers Jared describing the first store, the one they’ve been parked at for way too long, but somewhere along the way he nearly blacked out and vomited out the window. He’s afraid to see if everything cleared the car.

And now Jared is being a wonderful, supportive boyfriend and he really does not feel like he deserves this much kindness from one person.

“Would you prefer to go home and do something there?”

“No… no I’ll be okay.” Richard sits up and does his best to look alive and human, because he refuses to try and salvage a date by having it at the incubator with Erlich, Dinesh, Gilfoyle, and anyone else who happens to be around there to stare at him from behind the kitchen window. He’s beginning to hate that window. It isn’t even useful.

“When you think you’re ready we’ll go inside.”

Richard has no idea how Jared got so smooth.

“And if you need to vomit again I would recommend coming back outside. They make you take a key for the bathroom.”

Or maybe he’s just become ten times more awkward since Jared asked him on a date. What if he’s like this every time he starts dating someone new?

It actually explains a lot and that makes him want to cry.

“Okay, I’m good.” Richard sits back and nods to himself. “I’m alright.”

“I want to kiss you but after you’ve been vomiting I can’t imagine it would taste very pleasant.”

How did he think Jared got smooth?

“Well, uh, it’s better than pissing my pants.”

Right.

Jared hums and opens the car door. “Shall we?”

He watches Jared get out of the car. Okay he watches his ass as Jared gets out of the car. But he really can’t be blamed because Jared is wearing jeans and it’s just so abnormal to see. Richard didn’t even know Jared could do ‘dressed down’ until he woke Richard up to bring him breakfast in bed, already dressed for their date.

Honestly he’s so glad this isn’t a competition because if it is - not that he would ever think that way - he’s definitely losing.

Seeing Jared in fitted jeans and a long sleeved baseball jersey (white torso, green sleeves) makes Richard really happy. He really hopes it keeps happening because jersey Jared feels a lot like vinyl Jared, the one that works with a smile on his face while he softly sings along with his records, and Richard swears his heart is going to burst because no one should be this sweet and endearing all the damn time.

The woman behind the counter waves and they both wave back, but when she focuses on Richard she looks lost and he ducks behind Jared to hide in embarrassment, because that was a ‘you’re here all the time and I recognize you wave’ not a ‘welcome customers I don’t know’ wave.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah- yeah I’m good. Holy shit is that John Askew?”

He’s already found three trance electronic albums and Jared gushed over a complete set of Joni Mitchell until agreeing that he would regret not getting them. While they test their finds Richards finally relaxes enough to hold Jared’s hand while they use the test player in the back of the store and he’s pretty sure this is the happiest he’s been in ages.

The other two stores don’t pan out but after dropping off their purchases at home (vinyl and sun do not mix) Jared surprises Richard by driving him to a prime bird watching location just outside of Silicon Valley.

And Richard’s anxiety comes back full force because he can remember the last time he’d gone outside to find entertainment. He was nine and still naive and thought that he too would be as athletic as the guys his dad cheers for on TV. Then he’d hit a curb while riding his bike and flipped over his handlebars and swore off sunlight forever.

It’s just… Jared’s sharing a part of his life with Richard, so even though he feels out of place and loud and out of shape - ‘Why are there so many stairs?” “We’re almost half way up Richard!” - he’s still having fun just watching Jared enjoy himself.

“If you look right there, see the nest? It’s a bald eagle’s nest. I’ve been coming every week for months.” He’s smiling and trying (and failing) to talk quietly to not disturb the other visitors.

Richard nods. To him it’s a weird bird in a pile of sticks but to Jared this falls under huge-freaking-deal. He has his own binoculars - of course he does - and when he’s not cooing at the nest he’s cooing at Richard. “Can you see the parent? Maybe to the right a bit? The rangers think there may be an egg!”

“Too bad there’s no camera.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be able to handle the excitement. Two nesting avian marvels?” Jared messes with his phone for a moment and shows Richard their condorcam livestream. “I can watch them both this way. Ha, it’s like I’m there.”

Richard pictures anyone else saying the same thing Jared just said and he can’t help but laugh.

“Oh thank goodness. I was worried you wouldn’t enjoy yourself.”

“Well birds are more your thing.” Jared’s face goes from joy to concern in an instant. “I’m having fun, really.”

Jared nods. “What if you suggested our activities next time? Or if we both choose something we can do on the same day?”

_Oh thank God that means I didn't’ freak him out. _“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”__


	5. Chapter 5

Things are going slow.

He doesn’t have a problem with that, but it’s a new experience for Richard, being the sexually frustrated one in the relationship.

More a minor annoyance, no, an irritation? Something less harsh than annoyance.

At first he was so grateful because Pied Piper demands a lot of attention and everyone is always up in Richard’s personal space, demanding he do their thing first because it is obviously THE MOST IMPORTANT THING even if it’s definitely not.

But now things are settling into a routine and they actually have time to spend an entire day doing nothing but lie around in Richard’s bed and kiss and nap and eat from the box of cereal he stashed in the far corner behind his pillow so they don’t have to climb down. On rare days Jared even gets Richard to go outside and do things, which he never saw himself doing in a million years.

And yeah, do things usually means they just walk around the block or sit at a park like old people but it’s still in the sunlight and definitely not something Richard ever thought he would enjoy. He’s almost completely certain it’s because he’s outside with Jared and not because he suddenly enjoys being exposed to the elements.

He learned from their multiple outings that all of Jared’s ‘dressed down’ outfits are essentially identical. It’s less that he learned to dress down and more a case of accidentally finding one thing he liked and sticking with it forever. He has every color of baseball jersey Richard can imagine and even though it’s a little weird for a guy to have seven of the same exact pair of jeans and every variation of the same exact shirt it’s not the strangest thing he’s ever encountered. And Jared looks so comfortable sitting back on a bench with his same jeans and one pair of flat tennis shoes and alternating colors of jersey. He’s really fond of this side of Jared.

But he’s still so nervous at first that sometimes even holding Jared’s hand made him sick. And then there’s the whole, he has no idea how to tell everyone at Pied Piper so he just hasn’t, so they keep sneaking around and he knows it’s probably suspicious that Jared’s always in his room but they keep playing records and he knows it would be a nuisance to anyone but him and Jared, so really it’s for their benefit as well. At least, most of the time, he can claim it’s just because he needs to get some of his own work done without interruptions.

Even though half the time he’s the one interrupting himself now.

It took him a couple months before he even took his shirt off in front of Jared. And they weren’t even doing anything he just spilled some milk down the front of his shirt.

Now he’s finally settled and comfortable and he knows he’s skinny and pale and awkward looking but so is Jared sometimes so it’s not that he was ever self conscious. He was just generally terrified of screwing things up. And now that he’s not afraid of doing that he’s not really sure what’s holding them back from “going farther”.

He really needs to get over this whole pretending it’s different just because he doesn’t call it sex.

Crap.

But sex is weird and sure it feels good but they’ve never been together and that is just terrifying.

Sometimes he looks at Jared and worries that he’s a virgin. Not in a ‘why the hell haven’t you had sex way’ because for a while that was a very real, very scary thing he was dealing with. It’s more of a ‘I don’t want to screw up your first time and make you hate sex just because I’m an awkward dweeb’.

But then he remembers Russ, on many occasions, looking Jared dead in the eye and proclaiming ‘this guy fucks!’ to the room. He has no idea how to interpret Jared’s reaction.

Is he happy someone realizes he’s not a virgin?

Is he happy someone thinks he’s had sex?

Is it just the recognition that he’s even in the room?

Richard isn’t sure he wants to be someone’s first but he cares about Jared so if it comes down to it he’s sure he can manage. Maybe instincts will actually kick in for once and help him out.

Richard’s pretty sure if this were the stone age and only the strongest survived he would’ve gotten eaten by something long before he was old enough to pass on his genetics, because there’s no way natural selection would ever let him reproduce.

He’s really, really thankful for modern times.

Other times he wonders if Jared is part of the movement that believes sex is only fine after marriage.

He should just ask.

No he shouldn’t you don’t just ask someone if they’re a virgin. He needs to be tactful.

“Jared we haven’t fucked yet.”

Yeah that sounds about right. He’s going to crawl under the desk and die now.

“What?”

He can’t even make a noise he’s just standing there staring and Jared is so confused. Why? Why does he say these things? There’s the whole menstruating thing he’s sure scared Monica away even though she still offered to go out for drinks. Talking about pissing his pants. He can barely speak to people why did he think talking with Jared about this was the way to go?

“Are you asking about sex?” Richard can feel himself nod he hates himself so much. “Well, as two consenting adults in what I have interpreted as a monogamous relationship, it seems only natural that at some point both you and I will engage physically.”

Richard isn’t sure what part of that he should answer first so he just stands there and lets Jared talk.

“We are certainly physically compatible.”

“Yeah, yeah. Compatible. Monogamous. Sex. You. Me.”

“Richard are you alright? This seems like it’s upsetting your stomach.” Jared starts rubbing his arms. “Maybe you’re not ready for sex with me?”

How the hell is he supposed to respond to that.

“It’s… I do. Am. If you. Me. Us.”

“Richard?”

“I’m,” Jared kisses his forehead and he takes a deep breath, “okay, yeah. Not like, this very second.”

“We do have work to complete.”

“Right. Not now but… but soon.”

Jared nods. “Soon.”


	6. Chapter 6

He’s going to have to figure out a way to send a letter to La Roux thanking her for jump starting his sex life without sounding like a giant creeper.

Jared brought home the self titled album the other day claiming he may have found something they’ll both enjoy. Richard was skeptical at first.

Then he heard the music.

The first time they listen Jared decides to play the album while they’re lounging around on Richard’s bed. One minute he’s enjoying the second track and then he and Jared are kissing. Then he’s getting handsy and their shirts are gone and when did I take off my pants?

And then he climaxes before they even do anything and he’s so embarrassed he wants to hide in the shower and eat ice cream while he listens to all the sad Simon and Garfunkel songs Jared played for him.

But Jared’s smiling and really snuggly and proudly proclaims, “I already ejaculated two minutes ago Richard. It’s nothing to be self-conscious about.”

He is going to have to marry this man because there is no way anyone else can handle how awkward Jared is all the time.

-

The second time is better. He’s less freaked out now that he’s had a case of pre-ejac with Jared already. Jared puts on La Roux again and Richard is feeling rather bold for once in his life.

He also has no idea what he’s doing because he has never had a dick in his mouth ever, but he is damn sure Jared does not want to be bitten.

He is also sure all of those women in pornography are dirty liars.

He nearly throws up twice before deciding maybe blow jobs are not something he can actually handle on an average day. And Jared is so patient and caring and just holds Richard for awhile while he laments his poor gag reflex.

Richard learns Jared is shockingly good with his mouth. He’s not really sure how that happened.

-

The third time is just horribly embarrassing because he was standing in front of Jared while he’s sitting in his desk chair. Jared is kissing his chest and grabbing his ass and he never expected this kind of thing from Jared Dunn.

And then someone knocks on the door and he nearly pisses himself trying to pull his shirt back down and stand far away so it doesn’t look like he and Jared were just fucking around in his room in the middle of the day.

“Hey, Dinesh and Gilfoyle have the new platform ready to test if your part’s good to go.”

“O-oh, yeah, yeah, ready.”

He sure hopes his part is ready because if it’s not then he’s really been messing around more than he thought. Richard seems to remember finalizing his changes and compiling but now he’s worried and Erlich is staring at him like he’s a moron.

“I’ll be right out. Just need to… compile.”

“You made more changes? Jesus Richard stop tweaking your part looked fine.” Erlich turns to leave. “What the hell is with Jared?”

Jared is, in fact, looking a bit dazed. He blinks a few times and wipes his eyes.

“Uh… business. Work.”

Richard is so articulate today it’s astounding.

“Uh huh.” Erlich steps out of Richard’s room and closes the door.

“Richard, perhaps we should wait until the project is complete before we engage physically again today.”

He is going to melt he’s so embarrassed.

-

He’s worried he’s beginning to develop a Pavlovian response to the La Roux album.

Which is fine and all because all he has to do to let Jared know he’s interested is put the album on but it’s going to be really awkward when he gets a boner in public just because In For the Kill starts playing.

He’ll probably die.

But they keep getting closer and closer to what Richard has been referring to as 100% percent real sex in his head, because even though they’re definitely having sex it’s not what he really thinks about when he’s masturbating.

He’s already bought supplies and hidden them in his room. There is no way he’s using Erlich’s ‘communal stash’ because doing so is basically letting everyone know what they probably already suspect.

They’re lying in his bed. It’s well past ten and most of the rest of the house is dicking around instead of working, though Richard thinks he saw Erlich coaching Jian Yang about a new app. The record player is off and he almost suggests they turn something on when Jared starts kissing him.

It’s definitely not picturesque. He nearly falls off the ladder getting down so he can find his condoms and then he can’t find them because he hid them so well he’s hidden them from himself. Richard decides the floor under his desk is comfortable. He can sleep there tonight and maybe he’ll feel better about everything tomorrow.

But then Jared is there and he’s curled around Richard and touching him and they never make it back up to his bed because they’re too impatient. Jared finds the condoms, or he found them before and hid them somewhere else, Richard isn’t sure, and he’s so slow and gentle and sweet and Richard is pretty sure Jared isn’t a virgin.

He hits his head on his desk when he finishes and it kind of hurts but he’s really, really happy overall. Jared is so quiet when he comes Richard isn’t even sure it happened until Jared sags on top of him.

They manage a sleepy shower before crawling up into the loft and passing out until morning.

Really, a stellar album. Five out of five stars.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s definitely too cheesy to profess his feelings for Jared during a love song.

He’s not going to do it; he will not be one of Jared’s rom-coms.

Fuck. He’s probably going to do it.

Because he likes Calvin Harris and Jared likes Ellie Goulding and of course they found a seven inch EP of their song I Need Your Love.

He didn’t even tell Jared he bought it the next day.

But he is never going to be able to say it without some sort of catalyst.

And it’s not a question of Jared loving him back or not. Richard just really doesn’t want to get so nervous he throws up on Jared. He hasn’t done it yet and he really doesn’t want to ruin his track record now.

They’re sitting on the floor in Richard’s room and listening to one of Jared’s favorite albums. When it finishes Richard gets up without a word and pulls out his seven inch. He turns back to Jared and waves his fingers. Jared looks confused but he waves back.

“Is that a new album?”

“Uh, sort of. Well, technically yes. It’s new. But it’s… here.” He puts it on and sits beside Jared.

Jared turns to Richard and nods. “Oh, the EP? I am fond of their compilation work-”

“I love you.” Richard’s eyes go wide. “Haa… shit. Jared-” He starts to stand. “Sorry, sorry that was-”

Jared gently tugs at his arm. “Richard, I love you too.”

He nearly faints.

-

They’re lying in Richard’s bed, listening to some Ingrid Michaelson. He’s been letting Richard pick their music during the day, but always right before bed he quietly requests he be allowed to pick, and every time it’s a female singer with a soft, strong voice and nice calming sound.

He’s nearly asleep when Jared coughs. “Hm?”

“I’m very fond of female singers.”

“Oh, yeah. They’re nice.”

“It reminds me of when I was young. My mother always used to sing when it was time for bed.”

Richard almost didn’t catch the ‘my mother’. He feels cold even though it’s sweltering.

“Listening to female singers helps me remember.”

He feels a prickle behind his eyes and tries to will the feeling away.

“And when it’s on vinyl, it sounds like the person is in the room with you, so it’s almost like… Richard are you alright?”

He sobs and Jared pulls him close and Richard is sure of two things right now.

Jared is probably the strongest person he knows.

And he can’t imagine living without him.

-

He’s not prepared to handle a big flashy proposal.

Jared’s quiet and thoughtful and Richard wants this to reflect that.

Jared was delighted when Richard suggested they go back out to the bird watching tower. It’s hot out and he’s sweating and smells like garbage. But he’s talked himself through this at least ten times and he is going to propose to Jared once they reach the top.

“Hey, Jared?” He’s holding his side because of a stitch and Jared is handing him a water bottle. “Thanks.” He spills down his front. “Crap.”

“Are you getting heat stroke? Your complexion is quite fair.”

Sure, he’s the pale one.

“I’m okay… okay. Jared,” Richard starts to get down on one knee but Jared follows him, probably thinking he’s having an aneurism. “Jared no, stop I’m… okay, okay fine. Sure.” Richard digs out his phone and swipes until he’s in his photo gallery. “So, like… I didn’t think you’d want one or… couldn’t decide but- fuck. Here, look at this.”

He shows Jared two pictures, one with a blue circuits ring and another with a feather ring. Jared looks lost, so Richard clears his throat and clarifies, “engagement.”

Well, not really clarifies, but he got the idea across.

“Richard…”

“Jared I- we’re- love and- shit.” His hands are shaking and he drops his phone.

“Richard,” Jared takes hold of Richard’s hands, “are you asking if I would marry you?” Richard nods; he’s afraid of looking at Jared’s face but Jared cups his cheek and kisses him and he’s pretty certain he knows the answer but-

“So that’s a yes?” Jared nods. “Oh thank fuck.”

And he didn’t even need a catalyst.


	8. Chapter 8

He should really get around to telling everyone that he’s getting married.

But, not really everyone, or not right now, but they need a witness and he supposes it would be nice to have it be someone they know. Richard’s been put in charge of finding said person and he can only really imagine asking one person.

But really does Bighead ever leave his boat he’s getting tired of driving out here all the time.

Bighead offers him a sip of his big gulp but Richard is already nervous. Another gallon of sugar on his stomach would not end well.

“So, how’re things? I mean, it’s great for me. But you look good man. Real good. What’s up?”

“Oh, not much. Are you busy in like… three days?”

“Richard I’m never busy.” He takes a big sip. “Unless you’re asking me to move shit for you.”

“Haaa, no that’s later it’s-” Richard takes a deep breath. “I’m actually getting married.”

“Woah wait what? Congratulations.” He takes a sip. “Wait three days?”

“It’s going to be small. You know. Keep the parents out of the plans. It’s for us. Yeah.” Richard is shaking his head. “More personal.”

“Cool man. Do I have to wear a suit or anything?”

“No, real non-formal. Just… whatever you want works.”

“Cool.”

In hindsight it would’ve been better to wait until Bighead was done taking a drink because when Richard says, “I’m marrying Jared.” Bighead spews soda all over his pants.

He’s coughing and Richard smacks his back a few times. “What?”

“Um… it’s Jared. We’re getting married. Real small, courthouse. Yeah. Witness?”

“Um… sure I guess. Seriously though, how the hell did that happen?”

“Uh, it just happened. Kinda slow. About… a year? You know.”

Bighead nods. “What are you going to tell your girlfriend?”

“Wh- God damnit Bighead,” Richard sighs.

-

He’s already twisting his ring when he thinks and he’s only been married for about three hours.

It was tiny and quiet and Bighead dropped their rings but he managed to find them after crawling on the floor for about three minutes. Jared started crying even though they didn’t prepare personal vows. Neither of them wore anything fancier than their un-ripped jeans (Richard is so happy Jared wore one of his baseball jerseys) and it was perfect because it was simple.

And now they’re planning on moving to an apartment (outside of the overly expensive Silicon Valley) and Richard should probably tell the rest of Pied Piper he’s married.

Maybe.

But he’s kind of nervous because even though they’re not going to judge him for marrying a man they’re totally going to tease him for marrying Jared.

“You’re sure you want to tell them alone? We’re married now and I’m here to support you-”

And he’s crying again and Richard does not think that will be much help.

But it’s so endearing to see Jared so emotional.

“I’m good, I can do it.” He kisses Jared and for a brief moment Richard is worried they’re going to end up having sex in Jared’s car because Jared is very enthusiastic.

“I’m going to do some apartment research. Do you have any preferences?”

Richard cannot figure out how Jared can turn his libido off like that but he is not amused.

He goes inside and stands behind the chair he used to occupy. “Hey, uh, guys?” Gilfoyle and Dinesh turn to look at him. “Where’s Erlich?”

“If you have to ask you haven’t checked in the kitchen.” GIlfoyle stands. “You’re in luck. I need a beer.”

Gilfoyle returns with a beer and an Erlich, who is grumbling as he eats two poptarts at once.

“Hey guys. So, we’re all here.”

“Is this where you tell us you’re dying?” Dinesh asks.

“What? No, what? No, I’m not dying. I’m… I’m like the opposite of dying.”

“You’re a reanimated corpse. I knew it.”

“No! No, I’m…”

Erlich smacks Richard’s back. “Will you spit it out?”

“I’m married! Married. Not… not dying. Not… reanimated or… married. I got married.”

No one says anything for at least a minute. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.

Dinesh is the first to speak up. “You’re joking.”

“No, see, I have proof.” Richard holds up his ring finger. “See?”

“Holy fuck. Richard did you marry your laptop?” Richard scowls at Erlich. “Who else would you marry?”

“Jared.”

And he did not mean to say that yet.

“What the fuck,” Dinesh shakes his head. “Jared?”

“Yeah.”

“When the- Richard what the fuck I own this house! You’ve been fucking in my house?”

“Uh,” he doesn’t know what to say because he wants to lie but he can’t figure out how.

“Jesus. We need some ground rules if this is-”

“Well we’re moving in together so… we don’t need your rules.”

Erlich shakes his head. “What the hell kind of ring is that?” He holds up Richard’s hand. “This is the nerdiest thing I have ever seen and I run an incubator for app developers.”

“It’s not… okay so what if it’s nerdy?” He twists it again. “I like it so… so whatever. And it,” he holds it up to his face, “the color kind of brings out my eyes.”

And he thought the first silence was awkward.

Gilfoyle is the first to speak. “That is the gayest thing you have ever said, and you literally just told us you plan on having sex with a man for the rest of your life.”

“Ah… alright.” Richard shoves his hand in his pocket. “Okay. Well, fuck you guys.”

Gilfoyle leans back in his chair. “No thanks.”

Richard is sitting on the curb when Jared returns.

“Richard?” Jared comes to a stop and Richard climbs inside. “Did it go poorly? I’m sorry I wasn’t here to-”

“It went fine, they’re just jerks. But hey, um… want to just, I don’t know, leave town for a week? Go to the grand canyon or something?”

“This is the ideal season for birding near the grand canyon. Do you think you’ll enjoy it out there?”

He’s not sure he’ll enjoy the outside time but it’ll be nice to get away from work for a week. And they can sit around in a hot tub and eat food (He doesn’t care if it makes him sick he will eat cilantro.) and maybe they’ll dig around some used record bins while they’re there.

“Of course.” _Because I love seeing you so happy._ "You'll be there and... and I'll be there and... and I love you and- yeah."

Jared smiles. "I love you too, Richard." Then his face turns serious. "We should remember to purchase plenty of prophylactics. I imagine we'll use quite a few."

Well Jared's still awkward, that's for sure.

"Ha, yeah, wouldn't want to get pregnant."

Nevermind.

**Author's Note:**

> I have at least one more story for this scenario. Thanks for reading!


End file.
